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Model Forum / General / Railroads / June 2004Public Service: Know yer Ozzies and Kiwis
Found this on another newsgroup, and thought I'd pass it on as a public service to those of the Merkin persuasion unable (or unwilling) to differentiate between those other purported English speakers from the bottom of the globe* in OZ and NZ - I mean, after all, even their initials are nearly alike. (* note the Northern Hemisphere-centric assumption) ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- I just heard this from a Mumbaikar acquaintance of mine. He heard it while reading The Guardian's over-by-over commentary on the 3rd Test between England and NZ. The preceding information was presented to highlight the absolute objectivity of the advice that follows: ------------------------------------- Here's a helpful tip from Nanu Grewal. "That Kiwi accent," he begins ominously. "All you have to do to flush out Kiwis from Aussies is to ask someone 'What is 9 + 1?' If the answer sounds like "Tin" , they are Kiwi. If they answer 9, 8, 11 or 'No idea, mate" they are Aussie." It's simple, Nanu. But it's brilliant. ------------------------------------  SignaturePatriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.- G.B.Shaw ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- -- Steve Caple I heard that Ozzies are simply Kiwis that failed the IQ test.... SignatureWill N Scale - Credit Valley Railway www.muskokacomputes.com/CVR_Home.htm > Found this on another newsgroup, and thought I'd > pass it on as a public service to those of the [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > Nanu. But it's brilliant. > ------------------------------------ > I heard that Ozzies are simply Kiwis that failed the IQ test.... No, it's the other way around -- except for the current Australian government, who failed virtually every IQ test... > > Found this on another newsgroup, and thought I'd > > pass it on as a public service to those of the [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Nanu. But it's brilliant. > > ------------------------------------ > I heard that Ozzies are simply Kiwis that failed the IQ test.... Kiwis who failed to _find_ the IQ test. Regards, Greg.P. NZ. You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. > I heard that Ozzies are simply Kiwis that failed the IQ test.... > [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Nanu. But it's brilliant. > > ------------------------------------ > You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, > insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian at all? > > You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, > > insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. > >Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian at all? I'm no expert, but he seems to access the Internet via AOL - Don't bother to reply via email...I've been JoeJobbed. >>> You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, >>> insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. >> Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian >> at all? > > I'm no expert, but he seems to access the Internet via AOL There's something very familiar about his choice of words and phrasing. The big problem for those who like to post using multiple identities is that it's very hard for them to write convincingly in different styles - they always give themselves way by the similarity of the language in their posts. And their incorrect usage of unfamiliar idioms... > >>> You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, > >>> insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > they always give themselves way by the similarity of the language in > their posts. And their incorrect usage of unfamiliar idioms... Also, there are people who had any humour in them removed at birth. Unable to differentiate between a little joshing and serious name calling. Sounds like we have one such person.. Friends, if we get stuck into the Seppo's (or Poms, or Kiwi's or Bokkies or whoever) with serious intent, I humbly submit you'd soon know, Same as if anyone gets stuck into us. Lighten up. Have a chuckle, and move on. Or contribute some humorous inanity that we can all have a laugh at. Steve > Also, there are people who had any humour in them removed at birth. Unable > to differentiate between a little joshing and serious name calling. Sounds [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Steve And oddly, no-one mentioned sheep... Ooooh, I just did. Steve > And oddly, no-one mentioned sheep... Ooooh, I just did. You can buy crotchless panties for sheep at Frederics stores in Laramie, Christchurch, Alice Springs, and anywhere in Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, and Georgia (at any store with a Saxby Chambliss kiosk). Hey - did I miss the Bokkies? Who are they? SignatureSteve Caple >> And oddly, no-one mentioned sheep... Ooooh, I just did. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Mississippi, and Georgia (at any store with a > Saxby Chambliss kiosk). Although I am not the slightest bit interested myself, I do find it amusing that you sould offer that information. You purchase them there regularly do you? You naughty buggar. KWA > You purchase them there regularly do you? Not since I lost my job as Dick Cheney's personal shopping assistant. SignatureSteve Caple >> You purchase them there regularly do you? > > Not since I lost my job as Dick Cheney's personal > shopping assistant. Oh really mate? Working for Chaney, eh? We are supposed to believe that a rabid, foaming at the mouth, anti-Republican Democrat was working for Chaney. Oh sure, we believe that. In a pig's arse we believe that. You just got caught with your pants down mate and have been had. Bwhahahahahahah KWA > In a pig's arse we believe that. I'll refrain from commenting on your religious practices. Perhaps if you'd turn around you'd see the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh crap, it's a train! SignatureSteve Caple > > > You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, > > > insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. > > > >Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian at all? > > I'm no expert, but he seems to access the Internet via AOL - In that case he is an American who failed the IQ test. Anyone with more than half a brain is only ever on AOL for the 30 days free trial, then they realise what a truly BAD internet service provider it is and they get real access to the internet. I had to laugh this winter, my 71 year old mother went to California to visit friends for 2 months, her friend thought she was doing my mother a favour in getting AOL so my mother could get her email. Every other email from my mother was a complaint about how bad AOL was and asking, why can't I do this, or why can't I access that.... Was she ever glad to get home and a real ISP. SignatureWill N Scale - Credit Valley Railway www.muskokacomputes.com/CVR_Home.htm AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place than just the States. http://www.aol.com.au/ > > > You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, > > > insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Don't bother to reply via email...I've been JoeJobbed. Speaking of which...Will's not an American. :^) Besides, wasn't the joke more Oz vs. NZ...? > AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place > than just the States. Yes of course. I was mostly referring to the other poster. > Speaking of which...Will's not an American. :^) > > Besides, wasn't the joke more Oz vs. NZ...? > > > AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place > > than just the States. > > AOL offers service in Australia as well. An yer welcome to it, mite. SignatureSteve Caple > AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place > than just the States. > > http://www.aol.com.au/ Offers "service"??? > > AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place > > than just the States. > > > > http://www.aol.com.au/ > > Offers "service"??? Now there is a modern oxymoron... AOL Service. SignatureWill N Scale - Credit Valley Railway www.muskokacomputes.com/CVR_Home.htm > > > AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place > > > than just the States. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > AOL Service. There's a big difference between "offering a service" and "delivering a service". >AOL offers service in Australia as well. The world is a bigger place >than just the States. That's why it's called "America Online" Yes, I'm aware of vague land masses outside our borders, and shadowy forms moving about on them... Jeff Sc. I Didn't Assume Anything, Ga. Don't bother to reply via email...I've been JoeJobbed. > > You Americans should watch yourselves. Stick to what you do best, > > insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. > > Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian at all? Perhaps because his comment made sense? Regards, Greg.P. NZ. >> Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian >> at all? > > Perhaps because his comment made sense? That's debatable. I suspect that this poster will soon reveal himself to be one of our indefatigable trolls. His attempts at writing in an Australian idiom do not ring true. > >> Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian > >> at all? > > > > Perhaps because his comment made sense? > > That's debatable. Of course! ;-) > I suspect that this poster will soon reveal himself to > be one of our indefatigable trolls. His attempts at writing in an > Australian idiom do not ring true. As a New Zealander, I'm not as sensitive to Australiana as you may be. > As a New Zealander, I'm not as sensitive to Australiana as you may be. Something about a 'tin' ear? SignatureSteve Caple > > As a New Zealander, I'm not as sensitive to Australiana as you may be. > > Something about a 'tin' ear? Huhh? Moun tin ear? Tinny 'ere? I am not a native to Australia but moved here in 1992. I am sorry if my words sound odd to you however there may be that reason. I don't think I am a troll either but you can if you wish. > >> Why do I get the impression that this poster is not an Australian > >> at all? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > be one of our indefatigable trolls. His attempts at writing in an > Australian idiom do not ring true. >You Americans should watch yourselves. >Stick to what you do best, insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. Well, since most everybody lives in the northern hemisphere ('cause that's where most of the land is), you guys have an unfair advantage. There are more of us to insult than there are of you. Or were you proposing that we all stick to insulting those in our respective hemispheres? Jay > >You Americans should watch yourselves. > >Stick to what you do best, insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > of us to insult than there are of you. Or were you proposing that we all stick > to insulting those in our respective hemispheres? Don't suggest that - you yanks keep coming up with new opportunities for insults while the Aussies keep on with the same old lines. Just making a general observation with a dose of humour bounced in. > >You Americans should watch yourselves. > >Stick to what you do best, insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Jay > Or were you proposing that we all stick >> to insulting those in our respective hemispheres? >> >> Jay >Just making a general observation with a dose of humour bounced in. As I figured. Jay Americans have the best legislature money can buy. Unfortunately it's corporate money. > You Americans should watch yourselves. > Stick to what you do best, insulting the French, and leave downunder to us. What he said! ;-) Greg.P. NZ. > "All you have to do >to flush out Kiwis from Aussies is to ask someone >'What is 9 + 1?' If the answer sounds like >"Tin" , they are Kiwi. Or from Tennessee. <G> Jay The American government is not a republican democracy, it's a pornocracy. from Greek, porni'a - a person who does favors for money + krakia - rule. >> "All you have to do >>to flush out Kiwis from Aussies is to ask someone >>'What is 9 + 1?' If the answer sounds like >>"Tin" , they are Kiwi. > >Or from Tennessee. <G> Shouldn't that be "Tinisee"? Jeff Sc. Just Wondering, Ga. Don't bother to reply via email...I've been JoeJobbed. > >> "All you have to do > >>to flush out Kiwis from Aussies is to ask someone [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Shouldn't that be "Tinisee"? Or possibly "Kaintuck". SignatureWill N Scale - Credit Valley Railway www.muskokacomputes.com/CVR_Home.htm >> >> "All you have to do >> >>to flush out Kiwis from Aussies is to ask someone [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >Or possibly "Kaintuck". Either one will do. If, on the other hand, the answer is: "Whad I look like, a F%^$in' calculator to you?" or, "Whoda f*#*! cares?", then they are probably from N'yak or Noo Joisy. Captain Handbrake |
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